The 100% Unofficial Website of the Open University Politically Correct Brigade

For reasons of security, our members judiciously choose to disguise their identities, but their steely, determined eyes in the pictures on the left (of course!) of this page should be enough to show that we mean business.

The Manifesto

The following demands form our core beliefs and they are designed to strike fear into the hearts of Mail readers everywhere by appearing perfectly reasonable but actually leading to consequences which will strike at the very roots of british so-called democracy.

1. It shall be acknowledged that people arriving in this country, whether as asylum seekers or as economic migrants, generally have a good reason for doing so, that they have a valuable contribution to make and that they are no better and no worse than anyone else* (This apparently reasonable statement will form the first stage of our plan to ensure that Christmas is banned, latvian is taught in primary schools instead of english, and finally that all innocent englishmen are forced onto the dole and their women into arranged marriages with men called Abdul or something).
2. Linguistic politeness such as the banning of racial epithets and terms of abuse applied to minorities shall be instituted in all public discoursification. (This is an essential first step to instituting Newspeak, as defined in the excellent instructional pamphlet Nineteen Eighty-Four, which is sadly 21 years overdue, but there are those of us who are still working towards its achivement)
3. The right of deaf people to reproduce shall be acknowledged (and, after a period of acclimatisation, the next stage of our plan shall be unveiled: the forced deafening of all children at birth so that they will never again have to listen to government-sanctioned lies about the hypocrite Churchill and his so-called victory over the so-called nazis)
4. It shall be generally recognised that starving horses to death is a bad thing (after which, it shall be generally recognised that animals are our equals and they will be given full rights to vote and to marry innocent white women, forcibly if necessary)
5. We resolve to continually question the wisdom of conducting a poorly planned war of aggression in a volatile region, at the instigation of a leader who thinks he receives orders from God. (By this simple strategy, we will cause morale in the armed forces to deteriorate to such a level that this corrupt and decadent country will eventually be taken into the benevolent protection of a wise and just nation such as South Korea.)
6. Finally, we insist that the British Government ban the sale of sausages. (This is not part of a plan; we just don't like sausages).

Secondary Demands

These would also be quite nice, please, er, I mean, we will not rest until the following perfectly reasonable demands are met by the authorities.

1. All exams to be abolished and replaced with an opinion test with degrees being awarded to those whose views are the most sound.
2. OUSA Chat to be renamed The People's Democratic Republic of OUSA Chat, moderated (or rather "immoderated") by George Galloway.
3. All statements presented as true in open conference shall be checked by an independent arbiter using a reliable textbook such as Michael Moore's "Stupid White Men"

*= An exception will be made for Italian immigrants to Wales